Long Overdue UPDATE from Novello Publishers!
Mood:  caffeinated
The DARK JESTERS submission period is just about over...so writers, get your humorous horror tales in here by June 30th or you'll miss out on a chance to be a part of this historic first issue, due October, 2006. See www.novellopublishers.com for guidelines.

AND NOW...

I am VERY pleased to announce NOVELLO PUBLISHERS next project (also to be released October, 2006).

An all-new novella by Michael A. Arnzen (author of the cult classic novels Grave Markings and Play Dead, and recent winner of the Bram Stoker Award for his poetry collection, Freakcidents.

Titled LICKER, this one is sure to blow your mind as Arnzen delivers a semi-surreal tale that will make you laugh and freak-out while contemplating your very existence! Listen to some advanced praise:

"Beyond over the top . . . if you've ever thought about being locked in a cell with a chuckling madman bent on sexual gratification, this is the book for you. LICKER violates every possible notion of good taste, gleefully, and the result is an optimistic graveyard fandango."

-Peter Straub, author of In The Night Room

"Mike Arnzen's LICKER is a good old-fashioned, toad-licking, carnival freak-out that reads like an acid-flashback Tilt-a-Whirl. Dramamine and Malox are highly recommended. Cotton candy just ain't going to taste the same, and those candy buttons have all come undone. Read this book and I guarantee you will never look at a carnie the same way you used to."
-Cemetery Dance

If it's good enough for Peter Straub and Cemetery Dance, it's better than good enough for you!

This limited edition novella (only 150 copies will be made) includes:

* An introduction by author Jeff Strand
* LICKER by Michael A. Arnzen
* An afterword by the publisher
* A Bonus short story by Michael A. Arnzen, the hysterical DOMESTIC FOWL.
* Original cover art by Jennifer Galasso.

Keep your eyes posted on the Novello site for a coming promo-page, and advanced orders will be taken at shocklines.com (also in July).

Peace out---and remember: LICKER IS COMING...

-Nick

DARK JESTERS
Hey gang...just a little note about Novello Publisher's newest project.

DARK JESTERS: THE BEST IN UNDERGROUND COMEDIC HORROR, is now seeking stories for our first in a series of planned annual issues (see all the details on the Dark Jesters page on NovelloPublishers.com).

There's been a slight rise in the popularity of humorous horror stories, and even a few "serious" horror novels released in 2005 contained some good humorous elements (such as Douglas Clegg's great novel THE ABANDONED, which featured a few funny scenes latently happening among all the creepy chaos).

I am hoping that DARK JESTERS will display some fine young talent, as well as anyone looking to take a crack at this bizarre subgenre of which Novello Publishers is dedicated to bringing to the masses.

Make us cringe...spook us out...and MAKE US LAUGH!

-Nick


PS: This blog, 'THE TWISTED NUT', was voted worst-updated blog on the web by badblogs.com.

Yeah ba-bee!!

RIGHT HOUSE IN THE LEFT was released on schedule and in time for Halloween 2005. The reviews from all around the horror world have been very good, and I thank everyone for supporting Novello Publishers.

WARRIORS VIDEO GAME UPDATE: My son made it to the end in 4 or 5 sittings, and MAN! What a game...especially if you are a Warriors geek like me. I thought the profanity was out of control, but otherwise, the game is loads of fun and I keep my playing down to just a few hours over the weekend...it's either that or I'd never get anything else done. I am still trying to pass the 3rd level (There are almost 20 in 'story mode.')

The anthology DEATHGRIP: EXIT LAUGHING (which features my story, "TOES") has been pushed up to March, 2006 as the new release date.

While my novel THE DISCOUNT EXORCIST is currently under consideration by a small press, I began working on a story that has developed into a (gasp!) YA novel...actually the way it's going, it may turn into a Young Adult series. Tentatively titled DEAD BOYS, this one tells the story of a subruban New Jersey town where all the boys who are at puberty age are coming down with a zombie-like condition. I am having loads of fun with the first installment, and hope to shop this around in the coming months.

SHOWTIME's new series, MASTER OF HORROR, has been a big let down so far. I have seen 3 of the first 4 episodes, and was very upset over Dario Argento's JENIFER, which turned out to be a predicatble story based on the classic underground Bruce Jones comic. I am tired of watching "horror films" that turn out to be little more than soft core cable porn. I hope the series picks up (although I did like the debut episode directed by Don Carscarelli of PHANTASM fame). Did I spell his name right?

Happy new year if I don't see you by then. And check out the new section over at www.novellopublishers.com/NicksBio.html.

-Nick

RIGHT HOUSE and KIDNEY STONES
Talk about burning the candle on both ends...my candle now has about 8 ends...but the confusion is becoming organized.

I am now in the final week or two of finishing the formatting for RIGHT HOUSE ON THE LEFT, and just this past week received a fantastic introduction from author James A. Moore. And just when I had planned on spending Wed. eve working on the chapbook, I am hit with my 5th kidney stone attack since l997! I'll tell you, I don't wish that kind of pain on my worst enemy. And the CatScan shows two more little ones ready to drop! AGHHHHHHHHHHH!

I just want to get this puppy finished on time for its Halloween release date. May the next stones pass AFTER the release party!

-Nick

The Trouble With Artists
One thing I like to do here at NOVELLO PUBLISHERS is give unknown artists a shot. Fortunately, several of my old friends are artists, and "Caligula" has been working exclusively for me (see his latest sketch on the Horror Fiction Review page at novellopublishers.com---he did the cover to our 10th issue). I am egging him on to start his own site, and perhaps in time, when he feels "called," he will. But for now I get to hog him up.

My other friend offered to do the cover for our next chapbook, RIGHT HOUSE ON THE LEFT. Unlike Caligula, Mr. Eye (his nick name . . . he still hasn't decided what he wants to be called after his first piece is published) works with photographs, and I liked one design he came up with. But MAN OH MAN is this guy anal and slow. I love him to death for helping us out like this, but I guess as a new publisher these are the things we have to deal with (yeah, yeah, I know the old saying, "you get what you pay for.")

I'm hoping that in this case it will be a little more than nothing!

But seriously, any publishers reading this would do good to give an unknown artist a shot (of course, if their work intrigues you). I've been getting email about how to contact Caligula since TWO TWISTED NUTS (his first piece) was published back in April, 2005. I'd like to see him go places in the genre, at which time I can scream from the rooftops, "I discovered CALIGULA!"

Tony Hawk's HUCK JAM---simply insane
My son and I arrive at the Continental Airlines Arena Saturday the 23rd at 4:30 (although the show did not start until 7), because they advertised some kind of "village" in the parking lot. A few lame local skaters tried to do minor tricks, and the FUEL sports network pimped themselves at a few booths. Easily pass this up if you're going to the BOOM BOOM HUCK JAM TOUR.

But the event itself was great. Tony Hawk and Andy MacDonald, the older of this group of skaters, bikers, and motorcrossers, were still amazing, especially Hawk's 26-foot jump/railgrab off the top of a Jeep - thing!

I hate sports, but pro skating is just so much fun to watch, and those motorcross guys flew so high I got sick. A young BMXer from Long Island also stold the show several times, and it was his first time on the tour. A great time if this thing passes your town.

And my son is more inspired to skate now then ever, making the price tag easily worth it (not to mention the $4 bottles of soda and hot dogs at the arena).

-Nick

Set for BOOM BOOM HUCK JAM
This Saturday, July 23, I'll be taking my son to the Meadowlands Arena in NJ to see the Tony Hawk BOOM BOOM HUCK JAM tour. I gotta tell you, I am not a sports fan by any means . . . but I truly envy these psycho skaters and bikers. My son and I both got into this stuff through Hawks' cool skater video games, and since then, my son has become a decent "real" skater himself, and I am happy to see him into an alternative form of sports (he did play a few years of little league baseball, and man, am I THRILLED he got out of it. Talk about irritating people! Just try making conversation with your standard suburban little league parent. I'd rather gargle with sulfuric acid than go through that torture again).

I'll update this post after the event this weekend. I'll even be taking a few copies of TWO TWISTED NUTS along in the hopes I can get a copy to Bam Magera or one of those sillier skater dudes. Perhaps I could even sell some while we cruise the pre-show activities in the parking lot.

-Nick

The Addicition of Midnight Movies
Mood:  lazy
OK---I know I said I'd never Blog, that it is a waste of time, that it is lame, etc. But considering I still don't have a cell phone (I simply refuse to carry one), I figure I'd bend and do an occasional rant for the fans of Novello Publishers and The Horror Fiction Review.
Plus who knows---perhaps one day Blogging will be required by our increasingly fascist government.

Anyway, one of my all time favorite films, Walter Hill's l979 epic THE WARRIORS, recently played at midnight at the Landmark Sunshine theater here in New York, fulfilling a life-long dream of mine of finally seeing this one on the big screen. There is NOTHING like seeing a film you love on the big screen surrounded by like-minded geeks, wording dialogue and even acting out some scenes by your seat!

Many people don't realize it, but YEARS before the ROCKY HORROR phenomenon happened, people were already doing strange things at midnight shows, such as at John Water's PINK FLAMINGOS, HAROLD AND MAUDE, and during screenings of THE HARDER THEY COME.

There is a certain, special feeling that comes with seeing a film at the Witching Hour that can't be described. In the 80s, I saw so many midnight films that I later saw on video, and the feeling is always so much better at midnight. PINK FLOYD THE WALL, URGH! A MUSIC WAR, ROCKY HORROR, DAWN OF THE DEAD, KENTUCKY FRIED MOVIE...there's NOTHING like a midnight movie. When I saw the midnight premiere of Troma's horribly bad CLASS OF NUKE 'EM HIGH 2: SUBHUMANOID MELTDOWN at the Waverly Twin in NYC back in l990, the crowd outside the place was more insane than the film itself. Crowds (especially at midnight screenings) can add considerably to the feel of the film (cases in point: FRANKENHOOKER, STREET TRASH, and I WAS A TEENAGE ZOMBIE were all enhanced by the laughing/snorting/beer-cap tossing crowds I saw them with).

For a good book, locate MIDNIGHT MOVIES by Stuart Samuels. And if you've never been to a midnight movie before, it's time to get your booty to New York or L.A.!

And take my advice if you ever attend a midnight screening here in NY: Don't sit in the front row.